Friday, November 22, 2013

I Can Just Be Me

It's a normal Friday, or so it seems to me. I have a LOT to get done today! I'm already flooded with thoughts of what I need to do, leaving me overwhelmed and tired before the day has even begun. Thankfully I knew what to do first (well, almost first...first, that is after getting dressed, chugging fiberwise, eye drops for the post-lasik eyes, french pressing the coffee, eating almond milk softened fiber one honey squares, packing a lunch [which I rarely do, but desperate times required it this morning] and trying to motive the crying child who didn't get enough sleep but needed to get dressed and off to school, kissing a few extra times the freshly-shaved Sean and sending him and the almost composed son out the door, checking and replying to a few texts, looking at my menu and grocery lists)...go sit with Jesus and tell Him all about it and listen to Him. I grabbed my hot coffee and my favorite blanket and sat in quiet (well, almost quiet...I hear a little one whimpering but he can wait just a couple minutes), ready and waiting.

I began to write down in my journal the thoughts that were on the forefront of my mind, stemming from a conversation I had last night with Sean as we dealt with some unpleasant attitudes coming from the back seat (and from within ourselves). What do I do with these attitudes?!!? My own quote was racing through my mind...Replace ATTITUDE with GRATITUDE. I began working through the various attitudes and and practical strategies for helping my kids (and me) find gratitude in those areas, God let me on a journey that started with gold (that's a blog for another day) and ended somewhere totally different but beautiful.

I opened my phone to look for something I had read on a blog recently about gold-mining in your children and I "stumbled" across a link to Laura Story's song "I can just be me." I began to listen to it and it was like God "walked" into my house and was right next to me. I didn't even know how to say what I felt, but she did for me. Through tears I just let the words pass through me and be my prayer. In such a beautiful and simple way, my normal day turned into a special day...that God can be God and I can just be me today. The attitudes seem so small in comparison to the power of this truth. I'm only left with gratitude and peace. I know I still have to live the rest of my day, but I'm starting from such a better place...I think I will be playing this song ALL day today. Maybe you can too.

"I Can Just Be Me"
by Laura Story

I've been doing all that I can
To hold it all together
Piece by piece.
I've been feeling like a failure,
Trying to be braver
Than I could ever be.
It's just not me.

So be my healer, be my comfort, be my peace.
Cause I can be broken, I can be needy,
Lord I need You now to be,
Be my God, so I can just be me.

I've been living like an orphan,
Trying to belong here,
But it's just not my home.
I've been holding on so tightly,
To all the things that I think
Could satisfy my soul.
But I'm letting go...

So be my father, my mighty warrior, be my king.
Cause I can be scattered, frail and shattered,
Lord I need You now to be,
Be my God, so I can just be me.

Cause I was lost in this dark world
Until I was finally found in You
So now I'm needing, desperately pleading
Oh Lord, be all to me

And be my savior, be my lifeline, won't You be my everything.
Cause I'm so tired of trying to be someone
I was never meant to be
Be my God
Please be my God
Be my God
So I can just be me
So I can just be me
I can just be me. 

List to the song here!

1 comment:

  1. Love this Kristi- so much of this applies to me too (I mean- really, it applies to everyone...)! The mornings are such a time of routine and chaos all in one- but if we can let go and have the joy and gratitude start the day right, it's much more likely that it will spill out on the rest of our day too! :) thanks for the post!!